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| Cancergiggles is an idiot's guide to accepting, living with, laughing at and dying from cancer. The very, very last bit I can't be absolutely sure of, but then who the hell can? I could have written some beautifully crafted, grammatically correct essays but I hope you will understand, that when I say "I don't have a lot of time" I mean it far more literally than you do. I just wanted scribble a few thoughts to maybe light a spark in people - and then it became a book about Cancer, Life, Death, Illness and Politics. ISBN 0955198801 |
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copyright © 2004 Cass Brown
copyright © 2004
Cass Brown
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posted Tuesday, 8 February 2005
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In line with my policy of never knowingly missing out on available medication, a few months ago I had a flu jab. The vast majority of the tubes in my body which hold the red stuff, have pretty much collapsed due to chemicals, nuking and the insertion of many hundreds of needles. The depressing fact, is that not once has this been done with a recreational motive, rather it has been a keep breathing sort of thing. Flu jabs are deemed to be a good thing for me because hopefully they prevent serious coughing which can result in my externalizing organs through my repaired hernias (like gardenias only very dark red).
You can imagine my consternation therefore when yesterday afternoon between 1.55pm and 2.11pm I developed all the symptoms of Asian hippo flu. Blocked nose, sore throat, cough, head like suet, aches in all muscles/joints/hair, fever and sickness. Flu is worse than cancer because it creeps up on you, makes you feel like hell and what’s worse, the Wizards can’t fix it with their sharp knives and sewing kits - I think that the reason there is no cure for flu is that Wizards only feel happy if they can cut something out and then rejoin what’s left with bits of metal and very thin tubing.
Without so much as a by your leave, the symptoms upped and left after 20 hours and 11 minutes. The cough and sore throat stayed to entertain me but all the other nasties had disappeared without a trace. So it wasn’t influenza at all. I hear all sorts of people saying that they have had a 24 hour flu – NO – real flu knocks you on your back for several days (or weeks) and doesn’t vanish like a stock of WMD. I think what has happened is that due to the financial pressures and time constraints of modern living, they developed a convenience flu for yuppies and somehow it escaped onto the general market.
I suppose it’s ok for those people who can’t afford a classy illness like cancer, but I think I prefer to stick the good old tried and tested stuff.
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