I'VE SEEN THE WIZARD

Pleasant enough morning. Saw my Doc to arrange chemo which will start once I've had another scan and blood tests. For those of you who haven't read the whole web site, a word on scans. If you've never had the experience of being shoved into a bloody great doughnut (I guess that's most people) it's a pretty different experience. Whilst it is somewhat deficient in the fresh cream, jam and sugar department, IT DOESN'T HURT! Often there is a really weird bit though. You have an injection of Strontium90 or some such harmless substance and at a certain stage they tell you that you will feel suddenly warm and that it's completely normal. This is a real wiz. You walk in from a grey miserable, rainy day in Hertfordshire and then they flick a switch and bang, in around a second, instant Bali! I must have had this about a dozen times and I still get a kick out it. I've tried to buy some of this stuff from the technicians but they have some sort of mental block about selling to patients. Maybe it would be different if I went private? I've read up on the chemo I'm going to have, this time it's pills. I'm happy with this because most of my veins are about the diameter of the nozzles that deliver the ink from your printer to the paper. Thus it requires consummate skill for the meds to find any blood to pump the chemical/drugs/saline/Jack Daniels in to. This however is the difference between us and them. If you are trying to hammer a nail into the wall and time after time it bends, falls out or goes in at the wrong angle, there is a good chance that eventually the red mist will descend and you will start flailing around and destroying everything in your path. Nurses and doctors are told they should not do this. I suspect that they may even have some sort of red mist suppressant slipped into their coffee. Not once have I observed them stabbing wildly with a syringe when things have not been going their way. This cannot be normal human behaviour. The bad old days of chemo have changed a bit in that you don't automatically have hair, teeth and other bits drop off and a host of other nasties happen to you. Sometimes there are side effects but even these can often be controlled. I was very fortunate last time round in that the only discernable thing was my hair turning from grey to black (yes, I did get that the right way round) and I got pretty tired. Sleep not being the worst of things that can happen I was pretty chuffed. Time will tell this time but it seems my hands and feet may turn red. I call this a major advance in medical science. A drug that even knows which bits of you it should have the side effects on. 21st century or what?