The hotness

THE HOTNESS

Basking in glorious sunshine. This is something which is done to beef jerky and should not be attempted with human beings. Many years before anyone had heard of holes in the ozone layer and the accompanying dangers of skin cancer, I was firmly convinced that hot sunshine was just something invented by those who owned dark air conditioned bars in an attempt to drum up trade.

Sun worship, is as comprehensible and logical to me as any other kind of worship and has the added disadvantage that it makes me very seriously ratty. I am by nature, an entirely placid person, but stick something over 80 degrees of sunshine on my head and then throw in some humidity for good measure and you will really wish that we were on separate continents. Critical mass normally takes about 3 minutes from initial exposure. At around 75 degrees in low humidity I am chemically and mentally stable but I can feel my atoms getting excited as the temperature climbs above that and consequently avoid heat like the plague. It isn’t that I have the sort of complexion which is heavily prone to burning – I’m fairly dark skinned and to the disgust of most people (women actually) who see it happen, go brown in around 30 minutes. I just don’t think it is sensible to expose yourself to anything which directly changes your ambient temperature. I wouldn’t sit with my face 2 feet from a log fire or try to sleep in a cold bath, so why would I grill myself in the sun?

I have many fans. They are all large, 3 speed and permanently on. When I sit outside in the shade and it is hot – I have a fan at my side.